Recently, I got a message from site member Toya asking how to rebuild a relationship with her sister, who had just gotten into a new relationship and seemed to be drifting away from her. Toya (and all my other lovely sisters out there) – I know how scary it is to feel like you are growing apart from your sister, especially if you used to be super close. Tamera and I have been there for each other through thick and thin, and she is one of the closest people to me in the whole wide world, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t struggle with our relationship as we went through different life changes through the years. When you start having a family, a career, a husband or even just start living in different places, it’s so easy for siblings to start drifting apart. However, there are certain things we’ve done that have helped us keep up our bond, and I think they have made a huge different in our relationship. I want all my amazing sisters out there to have the best relationship possible with their sissies too, so I’m sharing the tips and lessons I’ve learned over the years below.

1. Make Your Relationship a Priority

I know this may be easier said than done, but if you really want to maintain a strong relationship with your sister or sibling, it’s important that you are actively making it a priority. That means being proactive and scheduling dates to see each other or talk on the phone and putting your time with them above other things that you might rather do at the moment. Believe me, nothing beats quality one-on-one time. Tamera and I have made our relationship a priority in our lives, and we always make room for priorities!

2. Communicate – As Often As Possible

Tamera and I are guilty of abusing pretty much every line of communication with each other – we text, tweet, email, call…sometimes all within one day! Even retweeting each other’s tweets or sending a short five-word text makes a huge difference. Most importantly, it keeps us a part of each other’s daily lives – which is so important, especially if you don’t live close to each other. Don’t wait for something “big” to happen before including your sister in your life – text her a photo of a cute dress that reminded you of her when you were shopping today, or call her and tell her about the cute guy who just started working at your office. It’s the little things that will keep you close and your bond strong!

3. Respect Each Other’s Differences

I know I’ve been giving out a lot of advice, but that doesn’t mean Tamera and I always have a perfect relationship. Do we fight? Yes! Do we disagree? Hell yeah! Buuuuut (and this is a very important “but”) – in the end, no matter how much we disagree or pull each other’s hair (kidding!!), we do one very important thing: we respect each other’s differences. Which is way easier said than done. Sometimes it just seemed like we were on two completely different pages, and both of us thought we were right. We’ve taken therapy to help us with our communication issues, and through therapy we’ve learned how each of us loves and what we need from the other person: Tamera needs affirmation, and I need presence. Having an outside perspective really helped us realize that the best thing we can possibly do for each other is to embrace the fact that we are two different people - often with two totally different opinions - but that’s exactly what makes our relationship (and every relationship!) so unique and special.

4. Forgive, forgive, forgive

Last but not least, forgiveness is key! I think life is way too short to hold a grudge against someone, especially your sister – it just makes you an angry person and does nothing but poison your relationship. Tamera and I try to make it a goal to never go to bed upset or angry at each other – we always try to clear things up or just forgive and forget before the sun sets. Unfinished business is dangerous and leaves room for assumptions…usually ones that are completely misguided and wrong!

Sisters – how do you keep up your relationship with your sister or other siblings? What have you done that has helped keep you close over the years?

Xx,
Tia